What Is Phileo Love, and What Does It Have to Do With Gratitude?
Have you ever stopped to think about whether you’ve felt loved at work? As strange as it might sound, love—specifically the type called phileo love—can be a driving force behind a workplace culture that fosters loyalty, gratitude, and authentic connection. Mark Bowling’s new book Gravitude highlights the importance of cultivating gratitude within organizations, and calls phileo love the first pillar (there are six!) of Gravitude. Rooted in mutual care and concern, this kind of brotherly love holds the power to build stronger, more meaningful connections in any organization.
In today’s blog, we’ll explore the concept of phileo love, its connection to Gravitude, and how it creates cultures where people feel valued, supported, and motivated.
Defining Phileo Love
First things first, what is phileo love? Phileo love is the friendship and emotional attachment that goes beyond casual relationships. It’s built on mutual care, respect, and concern. Unlike eros (romantic love) or agape (selfless love), phileo is the love we feel toward close friends, trusted colleagues, and kindred spirits. It is marked by patience, kindness, selflessness, forgiveness, and a willingness to believe the best in others–even in challenging circumstances.
As Gravitude reflects, “This bond not only fosters a community, but it also provides advantages to individuals and groups cultivating it.” Phileo love can transform organizations into places where people feel safe, connected, and encouraged to grow.
Phileo Love in Action: A Real-World Example
In his early career, Mark experienced phileo love firsthand while working at ITC, a company led by Cam Lanier III. Mark describes ITC’s culture as one rooted in patience, kindness, and respect. Managers were forgiving of mistakes, seeing them as opportunities for growth. Employees worked collaboratively, recognizing the collective success of the team rather than vying for individual recognition.
When looking back on the culture that had been so transformative at ITC, Mark decided to ask Cam why he (and many others) felt so connected to the organization over the years. “During the years you worked with us, was there ever a time you didn’t feel loved?” Cam asked. While love might be an unconventional word in corporate America, it perfectly encapsulated the sense of connection, loyalty, and Gravitude the ITC employees felt.
The Connection Between Phileo Love and Gratitude
Gratitude flourishes in environments where phileo love is present. When people feel genuinely cared for and supported, it creates a ripple effect of positivity and loyalty. Phileo love nurtures gratitude by fostering a sense of belonging and purpose.
At ITC, employees often intervened to help struggling teammates, ensuring no one felt left behind. This culture of mutual care cultivated gratitude, not just for individual relationships, but for the organization as a whole. When your culture is characterized by phileo love among employees at all levels, gratitude becomes second nature.
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Want to learn more about the power of phileo love and its role in creating grateful cultures? Discover practical steps to foster phileo love in your own organization in Mark Bowling’s Gravitude, and watch gratitude transform the people around you.
If your organizational culture is an example of Gravitude in action, please contact me. I would like to feature your story in future blog posts.
Gravitude can be found wherever books are sold! My favorites are:
Barnes & Noble (still love to support the brick and mortar)
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